Are You Abusive?

Are You Abusive?

Have You Ever:

1. Yelled or sworn at your partner?
2. Restrained him/her against his/her will?
3. Threatened, patronized, or been sarcastic toward him/her?
4.  Humiliated him/her in private or public?
5. Taken his/her car keys or money away?
6. Thrown, hit, sabotaged or destroyed things close to him/her?
7. Pushed, shoved, or slapped him/her?
8. Pulled his/her hair, kicked, burned or choked him/her?
9. Threatened to commit suicide if he/she leaves you?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, your actions are abusive toward your partner and may constitute Domestic Violence. If so, you may be breaking the law and could go to jail.                               

Things You Can Do to Help Prevent Abusive Behaviors

It's always good to find an effective stress management routine that works for you. Some of the suggestions below could help people manage the stress in their lives.

  • Take a time-out (ex. leave the situation, the room, or the house).
  • Call and talk with a supportive friend, group member, or relative.
  • Call a crisis line.
  • Notice your cues and where you are in the escalation process. 
  • Carry a notepad with you to help you remember your cues.  Write them down.
  • Work consciously at slowing yourself down.
  • Go for a walk.
  • Go to a relaxing spot (ex.  a nearby park, your backyard).
  • Work at really listening to the other person.
  • Count to ten or one hundred.
  • Take a deep breath.
  • Have a cool drink of water.
  • Splash cool water on your face.
  • Take a bath, hot shower, whirlpool, or sauna.
  • Share your thoughts and feelings assertively with others when you experience them.  Set appropriate and respectful limits when necessary.
  • Sit down when you are angry. Do not stand over others in an intimidating way.
  • Listen to relaxing music.
  • Distract yourself (ex. clean your closet, your desk, your shop, your car, your garage).
  • Spend time outdoors.
  • Whistle, sing or laugh.